Tilly: Teenager

Tilly: Teenager: Well here we are 5 years on from our last entry, wow! where did the time go, now we are well and truly into the teenager years.  Tilly is a ...

Teenager

Well here we are 5 years on from our last entry, wow! where did the time go, now we are well and truly into the teenager years.  Tilly is a pretty good teenager really, I'm maybe thinking this is the time to be grateful for her autism, trying to be positive that there's no boyfriends on the scene, and no moaning of being bored, and no late nights to worry about.  However she did go to a disco on friday night courtesy of Starjam, which has been an amazing thing for my daughter.  If you don't know about Starjam, it's a fantastic organisation that runs different workshops for special needs kids from dance, drums, guitar playing, singing and my girl loves the singing one the best.  Music really is our savior for Tilly, she loves listening to music so much, many different types of music from classical to blues and good old pop music, she has an amazing memory too - she can recite songs that she has learnt from way back.  Reminding me of another thing about autism and  to be grateful is Tilly has no fear or nerves, she will just sing a song for someone on request, bless her she's amazing.
That's one thing about being a Mum of a very different type of child, is you have to look at all the positive things about them, and try not to get bogged down with what they can't do.  I have my moments don't get me wrong, I guess that's the human condition.  Every child is different and unique in their own special way, and some kids just get extra's to add to the rich tapestry of their life, and those extra's I mean by having some kind of special need like autism or what ever it may be, don't let that define them, as they are a wonderful human being that just sees the world differently, and can certainly add a beauty that is so pure and lovely.  She is my gift to me, and I don't really know why but some of us are chosen to be parents of these special kids and it's tough believe you me, and some people say "how do you do it' well we just have to, we have no choice.  However it's certainly not all doom and gloom, not at all!  we have had many moments of great joy and so many funny moments over the years I could write a book, possibly the joys of toilet training or funny little habits you did not expect!
Well that's it for this time, and another thing to remember us Mum's have to is to look after you, so you can look after your loved ones.  Be kind to yourself, I have to keep telling myself that!  Now it's time for a cuppa.

It's the process not the product that counts...

Tilly arrives home off the bus, and drops her school bag at the gate as she races up the driveway in hot pursuit of the cat.   Our poor long suffering pet cat Twinkle has both front legs firmly held together as Tilly looks intently and lovingly into her eyes, I don’t get so much as a look in, as she scuttles past me.  The funny thing is the cat is actually purring away and does not seem to mind being held in a vice like grip!  I guess over the years she has got used to being handled in many different ways by Tilly, one of them being carried around by the neck!  This cat has nine lives I think and has lived to tell the tale!   Then I notice Bob the bus driver dashing up the drive way carrying some sort of art creation that Tilly had made at school that day.   I recognised   my shoe box that was now beautifully transformed into a wildlife kiwi bird scene, with a painted forest background and feathery kiwi’s birds complete with eggs in the nest.   I was most impressed with Tilly’s art work and know how fascinated she is with kiwi birds, especially after her performance at the school production last year when she dressed up as a kiwi bird and acted out a scene all by herself on stage, which was another moment to be proud.

Anyway I take the kiwi art work into Tilly’s bedroom and have a little chat with her saying what a wonderful job she did and Tilly looks very pleased with herself with a cheeky broad grin on her face as she says “kiwi house “ and then goes on to say “kiwi’s eat worms”  and she also points out the eggs to me.  So after a while I leave Tilly in her room looking at her artwork, then before I know it Sophie, (my other wonderful eldest daughter) who is simply an angel in disguise most of the time, apart from the teenager jackal and Hyde moments!   yells out to me “Mum Tilly has ripped up the art work she did today”  I felt a pang of regret leaving it in her room, but hey, I have to accept that when you make something you do have the right to destroy it too, and did I not learn in my early childhood teaching that “it’s the process not the product that counts”. 

Anyway I go into Tilly’s room expecting to see bits of cardboard, paper and fluffy feathers everywhere, but no there was nothing, just Tilly under the duvet!  So I ask her “where’s the Kiwi house”  Tilly giggles for a while and then declares “it’s outside”  and sure enough I go out into the garden to find the box with all the wonderful painting work and kiwi’s ripped up in amongst the flower bed. 

I will never really know quite why Tilly did this, and that’s one of the most frustrating things about autism for me, is the why did you do that Tilly ?    Sometimes using pictures can help explain and link up the communication between us.

A few days later I ask Tilly “why did you rip up the kiwi house” and she laughs and says  “because the girl was naughty” !   now I had to giggle at that and be thankful that she did explain why this time.

Bye for now.

Introducing Tilly

Well here goes, I've never done this blogging thing before but suddenly thought, why not, I should give it a whirl and actually see if there are other parents out there feeling the many daily frustrations of living with autism.  Now I'm not saying it's the worst thing in the world, but it's a constant battle and can be very draining at times.

My darling daughter Tilly who is now 13 years old has ASD and has some global developmental delay, she was diagnosed with being autistic when she was the tender age of 2 years.  This was a real shock to the system at the time, and you just feel like your whole world has been ripped apart and suddenly all your hopes and dreams for your child have just drifted out the window, and your left with a child that is from another planet.

My advice to anyone who has just had their child diagnosed with autism, to not give up and always have hope that your child will achieve and be able to do things.  Sometimes the so called experts don't always give you the best outlook for the future, and can be all a bit negative, so hold on to your gut instincts and believe in your child.   Oh yes, make sure you remember to laugh and see the good things that can happen, however small.  

It's true going out can sometimes be tricky, but you can't let that put you off otherwise you'll end up becoming a hermit.   Tilly and I go out as much as we can, just like this Saturday, we went up to the monster garage sale at the Te Awamutu Bible Chapel for a look around.  Tilly said to me "stay in the car"  so this was not a great start, but then she happened to see the large ice-cream van and said "ice cream"! and soon hopped out the car!  phew, here we go.  We managed to make it to the cafe area, and at least I got a chance to sit down and chat to a few people, for all of 5 minutes! then Tilly was off with a hiss and roar again! and I lost her, she can be so fast.  Okay think logically where is Tilly likely to go as I scurried around, I knew she would be heading for our car, but strangely enough she was standing by the ice-cream van, looking very hopeful! 

Another little snippet,  it's just been my birthday and that evening Tilly said "birthday cake" as I had not made one, so I promised her we would make one on saturday, which we did.  Tilly did a great job at cracking the eggs, and mixing and stirring despite running to her bedroom and hiding under the duvet a couple of times.  At one time Tilly used to be fascinated with throwing all my eggs out in the garden, smashing them on the ground! I must admit it's quite a good feeling! but luckily I think this habit has stopped!  but she still has a passion for ripping paper and she is excellent at ripping and shaking it!  just have to make sure she does not get my latest newspaper.

Watch this space, so many more stories, but I'll leave it there for now.